Changing Things Day 13

Day 105/365 - She Changes

Image by Tiagø Ribeiro via Flickr

Pressing onward. Today is my wife’s birthday. I wrote her a poem for it. Hopefully, she likes it.

Well, anger is still an issue but it is time to add something more to the mix.  I’ll admit it, I am an introvert.  Coming out of my shell is going to be hard for me. And to a point it is a problem being married to an extravert.  We never see eye to eye on how to approach people.  And it causes other problems. 

My wife says she can not be herself around me because I bring her down.  I don’t mean to do that and I don’t try to do that.  I want her to be herself, but she is afraid I won’t like it.  I guess she thinks I married her personality, I didn’t!  I married my wife lock, stock, and barrel, with the positive and negative (my view I suppose).  Honestly, the best times I have with her are when she is being herself, whether I am being introverted or not.

Being introverted I take awhile to warm up to people and I make few friends. I guess I seem aloof. That’s one thing I can work on. I like to size up people before extending any overtures.  But I can say most times in sizing them up, I am rarely wrong on what they are about. I don’t want to lose that, but I don’t want to lose her either.

I will say that I am much less introverted than I was 20 years ago.  I talk to people, I try to have fun. But there are times that I just go back to that time and withdraw.  I guess I am afraid of being hurt, I don’t know.

I have difficulty talking to people. My wife says I spout out things that are over people’s head (paraphrased) and expect them to understand.  She says it makes them feel stupid and me look arrogant. I don’t mean to do that and that is something else I can work on. Maybe I am just trying to compensate for feeling inferior because of the introversion.

I love my wife and for that I will do the hard things.  This is going to be one of the hardest things in my life to do.  It is ingrained from childhood and to change it enough to matter is going to be difficult, but we all have our crosses to bear and I will try to bear this one and the changes I make with grace.

For more reading on introverts, click here.


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