THE T̷E̷N̷ ELEVEN COMMANDMENTS OF FACEBOOK

Commandment 1

I am Facebook thy social networking site, which have brought thee out of the land of MySpace, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other social networking sites before me.

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is similar to Me, or that is even like me, or would be confused with me.

Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I, Facebook, am a jealous social networking site, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

And shewing mercy unto millions of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

Commandment 2

Thou shalt not take the name of Mark Zuckerburg in vain; for Facebook will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

Commandment 3

Remember Mark’s birthday, to keep it holy.

Commandment 4

Eight hours shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:

But all other hours shall be devoted to Facebook.

Commandment 5

Honour thy father and thy mother: and then complain about them on Facebook.

Commandment 6

Thou shalt not kill thy browser window as it is Facebook thy social networking site’s window into your soul.

Commandment 7

Thou shalt not commit adultery with other social networking sites. (Refer to Commandment 1)

Commandment 8

Thou shalt not steal from Facebook thy social networking site. (Refer to Commandment 1 again)

Commandment 9

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour unless thereby thee shalt garner likes from thy friends.

Commandment 10

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s unless thee shalt post it upon Facebook thy social networking site.

Commandment 11

Thou shalt post ad nauseum those posts that tug upon thy heartstrings and also upon thy friends’ regardless of the veracity thereof. By doing so thou shalt heap upon thy person shares and likes of the nations as their heartstrings art tugged forthwith.

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