THE T̷E̷N̷ ELEVEN COMMANDMENTS OF FACEBOOK

Commandment 1

I am Facebook thy social networking site, which have brought thee out of the land of MySpace, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other social networking sites before me.

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is similar to Me, or that is even like me, or would be confused with me.

Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I, Facebook, am a jealous social networking site, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

And shewing mercy unto millions of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

Commandment 2

Thou shalt not take the name of Mark Zuckerburg in vain; for Facebook will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

Commandment 3

Remember Mark’s birthday, to keep it holy.

Commandment 4

Eight hours shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:

But all other hours shall be devoted to Facebook.

Commandment 5

Honour thy father and thy mother: and then complain about them on Facebook.

Commandment 6

Thou shalt not kill thy browser window as it is Facebook thy social networking site’s window into your soul.

Commandment 7

Thou shalt not commit adultery with other social networking sites. (Refer to Commandment 1)

Commandment 8

Thou shalt not steal from Facebook thy social networking site. (Refer to Commandment 1 again)

Commandment 9

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour unless thereby thee shalt garner likes from thy friends.

Commandment 10

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s unless thee shalt post it upon Facebook thy social networking site.

Commandment 11

Thou shalt post ad nauseum those posts that tug upon thy heartstrings and also upon thy friends’ regardless of the veracity thereof. By doing so thou shalt heap upon thy person shares and likes of the nations as their heartstrings art tugged forthwith.

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Revisiting my predictions for 2012

Everyone has their predictions, so I will give it a go, one for each month. Bet you I am closer to right.

1. The Super Bowl will once again not be played in January and the AFC team will win it.

Wrong, NFC won.  0-1

2. Punxsutawney Phil will see his shadow and amazingly we will have 6 weeks and 5 or 6 days more of winter just like every other year.

Right.  1-1

3. Saint Patrick’s Day will again fall on the 17th of March and totally miss the Ides…..what was the Catholic Church thinking?

Right. 2-1

75px-University_of_Kentucky_Logo.svg[1]4. The University of Kentucky will win it’s 8th NCAA championship in basketball. Well according to the pattern that will be next year, but I’m an alumnus so PFFFFBBBBT!!!!!

                      OMG I was right.  3-1

5. The Kentucky Derby will be run on the first Saturday in May and a horse will win it not a jockey since they are only along for the ride.

Right.  4-1

6. After the Belmont Stakes is run in June, we still will not have another Triple Crown winner.

Right.  5-1

7. My son will get his driver’s license. REMEMBER PEOPLE, I’M GIVING YOU 7 MONTHS WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I wrong on this one if it is due to scheduling?  5-1-1

8. The Republicans will again nominate a lackluster candidate for President. We only get saved from complete boredom if Ron Paul is the nominee. If Paul does by some miracle win, will he have his son Rand as his running mate?

Right. 6-1-1

75px-Official_portrait_of_Barack_Obama[1]9. The Democrats select Barack Obama again. Don’t we get a do over? Isn’t it time for real change? If you as a Democrat believe that, dump BO.

Now before anyone thinks I am being biased with the way the picture looks, I tried to fix it for about 30 minutes and gave up.

 

Right. 7-1-1

10. The stock market takes a large slide setting up #11. Seems these always come in October.

I was wrong here.

7-2-1

11. Despite prediction number 8, the Republicans pull out a slight victory, proving just how much President Obama is not liked by the electorate. Heck I’ll go out on a limb here, 280-258 in the Electoral College.

Wrong again.  I hope people are “happy.”  7-3-1

12. I don’t know whether I can stress this enough. THE WORLD WILL NOT END. There is NO Planet X, Nibiru, Mongo, aliens from Zeta Reticuli, etc. The poles will not switch nor the Earth suddenly begin rotating in a different direction. Neither will cosmic alignments nor solar storms cause us many problems. Once again THE WORLD WILL NOT END!

My Predictions for 2012

Everyone has their predictions, so I will give it a go, one for each month.   Bet you I am closer to right.

1.  The Super Bowl will once again not be played in January and the AFC team will win it.

2.   Punxsutawney Phil will see his shadow and amazingly we will have 6 weeks and 5 or 6 days more of winter just like every other year.

 

3.  Saint Patrick’s Day will again fall on the 17th of March and totally miss the Ides…..what was the Catholic Church thinking?

75px-University_of_Kentucky_Logo.svg[1]4.  The University of Kentucky will win it’s 8th NCAA championship in basketball.  Well according to the pattern that will be next year, but I’m an alumnus so PFFFFBBBBT!!!!!

5.  The Kentucky Derby will be run on the first Saturday in May and a horse will win it not a jockey since they are only along for the ride.

6.  After the Belmont Stakes is run in June, we still will not have another Triple Crown winner.

7.  My son will get his driver’s license.  REMEMBER PEOPLE, I’M GIVING YOU 7 MONTHS WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!

8.  The Republicans will again nominate a lackluster candidate for President.  We only get saved from complete boredom if Ron Paul is the nominee.  If Paul does by some miracle win, will he have his son Rand as his running mate?

 

 

75px-Official_portrait_of_Barack_Obama[1]9.  The Democrats select Barack Obama again.  Don’t we get a do over?  Isn’t it time for real change?  If you as a Democrat believe that, dump BO.

Now before anyone thinks I am being biased with the way the picture looks, I tried to fix it for about 30 minutes and gave up

 

10.  The stock market takes a large slide setting up #11.  Seems these always come in October.

11.  Despite prediction number 8, the Republicans pull out a slight victory, proving just how much President Obama is not liked by the electorate.  Heck I’ll go out on a limb here, 280-258 in the Electoral College.

12.  I don’t know whether I can stress this enough.  THE WORLD WILL NOT END.  There is NO Planet X, Nibiru, Mongo, aliens from Zeta Reticuli, etc.  The poles will not switch nor the Earth suddenly begin rotating in a different direction.  Neither will cosmic alignments nor solar storms cause us many problems.  Once again THE WORLD WILL NOT END!